Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
