It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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