Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
