I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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