I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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