Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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