Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
