Me too!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
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It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
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He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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