Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I can text with my tongue
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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