Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
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