yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
