What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
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He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
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Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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