just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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