He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You ruined the universe
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
