If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
