what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
