I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
