Already got asked if we're dating
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I need to sanitize my soul.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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