Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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