So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
