I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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