I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
