So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
