I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
