her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
