He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
