You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
