I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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