i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
