After last night, I could never be a politician.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize