Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
