Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
