those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
PS: I just woke up from my shower
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
