i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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