i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
