North Korea, Best Korea!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
