I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
