i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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