508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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