Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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