my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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