i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
