love makes seman taste better
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
