He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
