yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
