I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize