Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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