Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize