dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
