even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Someone signed my nipple.
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