how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
