Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize