I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
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