Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
