Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
