peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
