chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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