What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
This toilet bowl is my home.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize