Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
