i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
